Pink Balloons

December 14th....Crystal's Birthday!!! I miss her so much..don't get me wrong I am so happy for her and that she is not hurting anymore. She was so strong for so long and fought so hard. I look up to her and the strength she had every day. That through all the trials she had she just kept going. Like the energizer bunny!! She would have chemo on Friday, flew home on Saturday, and went back to work on Monday!!! I always told her I didn't know how she did it. And she said you would too!!!

I am going to be brutally honest here...but I am not a fan of visiting teaching. (luckily no one who visits me or I visit has permission to view this). I know it is important and it is here for a reason...I have just had too many bad experiences with it. From someone calling me the end of the month just to get there number in, to others bringing their children with pizza in hand to eat at my house, or those same children having an "accident" and not telling me about it and letting me find it later. I have had many who I have never bonded with or had nothing in common. And I would never call them in a million years if I needed something. So what is the point? Well, there are some few and far between that actually work out. I met Crystal through visiting teaching....I was her visiting teacher when her cancer first started. At first it was just my responsibility to make sure they/her were taken care of. I kind-of forced my way in because you have to with Crystal's strong personality. But that visiting and responsibility soon became a very good friendship. Mostly long phone conversations and visits at her house. And hoping every time she went to get news that it was good. And tears of sadness when it was not...mostly on my part because she was so strong. She would always make me smile and laugh even harder. I miss those conversations and visits. I wish we had more time. The regret of things that I should have done. I miss her!! I can't even drive by her new house without crying. Our last goodbyes...when we told each other what a great friend each other was and Crystal saying exactly how I felt, "there is just too much to say". Those are the awesome blessings that come from visiting teaching. I understand now!!

She has helped me to put my life into perspective. What is important? My husband, my kids, the things we do and time that we spend together. I kept thinking the whole time after she came home with the news that she had about 4 weeks left....what would I do, what would I say. That alone would be so hard. I am so sad for Chris and the kids. I can't even understand how that would feel. I would be devastated even now if my mom were to pass. But they are being strong just like their mom!! For her birthday, we met at her graveside and sent our message bearing balloons up in the sky. Happy Birthday Crystal!